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Black Sheep: A week in my life, on the sidelines.

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  " O ccurring at the same time as something else" Tuesday, August 16th: I'm struggling with an abscess for a fortnight now and fed up of the frequency it happens to me, I have bad ones every other week but I guess that's just what happens when you have no teeth left in tact. I often resort to ridiculous late-night,  home-made attempts to make it better, which inevitably makes it worse. Tried to burst through the bottom gum with a sewing needle and ended up slicing my gums open and getting a worse infection instead, not advisable (if you were considering it). ---------------------------- I saw CSO released " Accompanying Conditions of Deaths from COVID-19 , March 2020 – February 2022 " and the instant Twitter reaction was predictably dominated by Covid-denying, Anti-vax muppetry , as they're ironically among the few people still highly invested in Covid. " Only 183 people died solely from Covid " they cried, as if the presence of multiple con...
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Debbie Harry and a Lamp.

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The only light entering my bedroom shines on a dust-covered empty bottle of Lacoste aftershave, sitting on top cardboard packaging of my old Lenovo laptop. A June 24th, 2016 issue of The Mirror is tucked behind them, against the wall. Nothing special about that day, beyond the fact it was the last time I bought a newspaper.  The curtains are almost never open and don't stretch all the way to the left, otherwise the dim would triumph completely. A Marks & Spencers suit jacket hangs from my wardrobe, diverting my focus from the aftershave. I wore the suit once to my dads funeral and lost the trousers, some time and some place since then. I didn't want to wear a suit that day because I didn't want to be there to begin with. I reluctantly went because I didn't want to embarrass mam by making a self-absorbed, dramatic absence.  I wanted to be with my dad but be wherever he was , not where his lifeless body was. Neither the cardboard nor suit enter my consciousness muc...
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The Day I Caught The Train

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   Walking through the streets of London  in 2011, I was wondering where the fuck it all went wrong. I had a roof over my head, living with my cousin in a one-bedroom apartment in Earlsfield and life was good, for a while. I was sleeping on the couch but this was as secure a situation I could be in. -------------- The first significant domino to fall  came when I asked him for yet another lend, this time £50 to go to the pub to meet a friend. “Food in the fridge and a roof over your head rent-free son and you want another few quid is it? Anything else? Ferarri? What's it up to now then, £650? £700? Fuck me, alright, here’s another £100! You’re in London, you can't get far on £50. Who is she then?” "Thanks, listen I'm going to get this all repaid. No, it's not like that, well I don't think it is!" “Enjoy but if it’s going well and hitting midnight, you’re in or you’re out yeah? School night and all that!” --------------- Trying to tiptoe in at 4 in the morn...
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